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The search continues...

So, one of the jobs I applied to was filled by a friend of mine. So, I'm kind of disappointed I didn't get it (but kind of not...more on this later), and happy for her.
The reason I am not too upset. Uh...squick alert? involves, uh, dead animals )

Other than that, not much is new. I'm still looking for a job, which is not that much fun at all. I have applied to some companies in private industry, but I'm not sure how well that will go because a lot of places here have a hiring freeze at the moment, so I'm finding a lot of my applications are going to the university or grant/funding based jobs. We'll see though. I'm not keen on Toronto, but it looks like I'll have to start applying there, unless something comes up in the places I do want to work. We'll see I guess.

Oh. I've also become addicted to watching documentaries on YouTube. Uh, mostly serial killers/evil cult leaders and, uh, stuff like that. I don't know. I think I was in a weird mood when I started.

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I have a job interview tomorrow morning (at 9 am), and I'm starting to get nervous. If it keeps up, I'm going to be a wreck by tomorrow morning. I think I'm nervous because it's for my first 'real' job (as in not a student or summer job). Plus, I go through all these scenarios in my brain, mostly of how I'll fail the interview/not be prepared. I don't remember being this nervous for previous interviews, or rather quite this nervous, since I'm always nervous for them.

In other news I'm working at the stupid restaurant on Sunday. You know, the place that I wanted to leave because it was chronically understaffed and a constant stress in my life? Yeah. That one.

Quick update

Some things are going ok, some things not so much.

The term is almost over, so barring me completely bombing a course (which with the percentage of my grade already completed, is really unlikely - unless I got like...10% on a final, there's no way I failed anything), I'm done school as soon as I'm done my exam tomorrow. So that's exciting. The term had its ups and downs - the group project with the useless partner was a definite down but one of my lab courses was really fun, and I did really well in at least 2 (probably at least 3) courses. Immunology was a struggle mostly because my instructor was kind of crappy. One of my professors took us out for drinks for our final class (we had nothing scheduled for it - it was a presentation course, and we had finished the week before), which was kind of cool. He paid for everything, which we didn't expect at all! It was really nice of him - we were all like "HOLY CRAP" after we found out. There's only 10 of us in the class, but still, it was really nice. Although I don't think we would have had quite so much if we knew he was paying for it. Anyway, I'm almost done school, which is rather exciting.

I have a couple of interviews coming up, which is sort of exciting. One is way on the other side of the city (it's for a company that purifies surfactant for premature babies), which is a bit of a pain, and it's early-ish (9:00 am), so hopefully it goes well. The other one is at LHSC in a lab. It would be for 4 months, with the possibility of an extension, if the other person (who has been away on sick leave for almost a year) isn't back, or can't be back full time. Hopefully those go well. I have this dillemma of not knowing which one to hope for - the first job is sort of out of the way for me, at least right now, and isn't 100% what I want to do (but who's first job is?), but it's pretty much guaranteed to be a longer contract, if I don't screw up. The one at the LHSC is more what I love to do (which is lab work), but will likely be shorter contract, and the length of it is sort of up in the air. So...yeah. I'm trying not to worry about it though, since I haven't even interviewed yet.

Sadly, the only place I saw this on my flist is [info]debunkingwhite

Lawmaker defends comment on Asians- Call for voters to simplify their names not racially motivated, Terrell Republican says

What. The. Fuck. So...saying only people of Asian decent, with Asian names should 'simplify' (aka make it sound more white) their name isn't racially motivated?

Brown later told Ko: “Can’t you see that this is something that would make it a lot easier for you and the people who are poll workers if you could adopt a name just for identification purposes that’s easier for Americans to deal with?”

I have no words. No. Actually. I do - people of Asain decent are not American? Everything is about making it easier for White people? FUCK YOU. The stupid thing is, the reason why many Asian people have an "english name" is to avoid being made fun of it and the racism that comes from having a non-anglo name.


Not dead. Shocker, I'm sure.

So. I have this ridiculous project for school, in which I am to put together a business plan for a pretend product, and take it from a lab scale to a pilot size project. It doesn't sound bad on the surface, but right now we are putting together a budget for our equipment, and I can't find what I'm looking for on the internet, which means I will probably have to call all these places and say "ok, I have this stupid school project and I need to you tell me the cost of your bioreactor/feed system/whatever" My partner has done jack all for part of her section, and I'm tempted just to email my professor and say "look. This is my section. This is her section. I am not doing her work, because I do not have time, and quite frankly, do not care" Right now I'm pissed off, and I'm tired, we aren't doing my idea for this stupid project (it's my partner's idea) so I don't care much about the subject. I'm just so frustrated, and our professor isn't much help.

If anyone knows how much it would cost for a 500 L bioreactor for mammalian cells (fed batch, suspension culture, quite frankly I don't even care just get me a quote), and a pilot size ultrafiltration unit I would be grateful if you told me. Right now I am sort of looking at this and this one. I have no idea when I'm going to have time to call, unless they have someone available on weekends.

This is so stupid.

Things that bothered me a bit today

1. That people stupidly assume that, because my great-grandparents on my mum's side immigrated from Japan, I am somehow knowledgable about all things Japanese. Spoiler alert: I'm not.

2. In one of my classes we were got off on a tangent and were talking about how some people in (in North America) voluntarily attach their picture to their resume, I assume, in hopes of increasing the odds of getting called for an interview/getting the job ('cause they're pretty?). I don't know. Whatever. Anyway for me it raises many uncomfortable feelings. Not only because it would feel like I'm being evaluated on my looks. You see, on paper, I read white. If I hand out a resume that does not have my full middle name, you can't really tell I'm a PoC. So for me, attaching a picture? Makes me apprehensive because being able to go into an interview without the person wondering if that's my 'real name' and wondering how good my English is? Is an asset. And yeah, I hate having to think like that, but I've been around long enough to know that despite all the bullshit about being 'post-racial' (whatever that means) and 'colourblind' society is anything but. My grandmother is Japanese-Canadian, and over the past few weeks, from the pre-op to post-op to the nursing home she's recovering in, I've had doctors and nurses look at her name, look at her, then ask me, my mom or my aunts if she speaks English, while she's sitting right there. And yes, part of that is ageism, but geez, I'm sick and tired of people assuming she either cannot speak English, or is unable to speak for herself for other reasons. Yeah, I get it. She's old, but she's not incapable. The whole thing with her hip surger made this whole...societal clusterfuck glaringly obvious to me.

3. After the recent fandom kerfuffle or whatever re: racism, and PoC charactersI became very cynical about people (more specifically, white people) 's motives for posting. Because at times it felt like people were just shouting "I KNOW THERE ARE WHITE ASSHOLES BUT I'M NOT ONE OF THEM, LOOK SEE I POSTED". I don't know. I understand that it needed to be said, believe me but sometimes it felt like people were taking it as the opportunity to make sure everyone knew that they weren't One of Those People. I dunno. Just my feelings, and I don't even think I'm stating them that well.

This entry is brought to you by the word FUCK and stupid

This fucking project is a fucking pain in the ass because my fucking partner is currently MIA. I sort of understand - she has a major presentation due tomorrow in another one of our classes, but on the other ERGH, I feel like I'm doing all the work here. I'm tired, my brain is tired, I want to work on my major presentation due next week, but instead I'm stuck working on this stupid thing that's not even worth marks. AND SINCE IN THIS COURSE FOR THIS STUPID PROJECT WE DO HAVE A PRESENTATION FOR MARKS NEXT WEEK, I'M FUCKED BECAUSE OH, THAT'S WHEN I HAVE MY MAJOR PRESENTATION AND MY FUCKING PARTNER NEEDS SOMEONE TO HOLD HER HAND AND TELL HER WHAT TO DO.

Why I'm Happy, Why I'm Not satisfied

From http://www.illdoctrine.com

I think what I love about this video si that it sort of says a lot about what I'm thinking - I'm happy about Obama being president, but it does not satisfy me. It does not mean the US (or any country) is post-racial when they have a minority president. The work isn't done, racism still exists, a huge step toward Martin Luther King's dream, but it has not been realized.

Um, yes. The video is about 3 minutes long.

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[info]uppitybrownlady wrote a really good little piece entitled Being “colour blind” is NOT a solution that I think people should read.


Colour blindness is not a solution, it’s an endpoint. It’s a destination we must arrive at.

Colour blindness would mean to ignore the current perceptions of races, and racism stemming from those perceptions. It will not undo all of the years of learning that we have all undertaken. We will not unlearn that Europe was simply going abroad and settling in the “New World”, and all of knowledge was created by Europeans (well, the important ones, anyway). We will not unlearn that if the race of a murder victim is not specified (or divulged through name) in a news story, it must be a white person. We will not unlearn that Natives are supposedly ‘all’ alcoholics, drug users, and criminals, not because of colonialism and racism, but because that is just how Aboriginals are. We will not unlearn that young black men are only ever out to rob, stab, shoot, or sell drugs to you, and any time there is a young black man doing anything but robbing, stabbing, shooting, or selling drugs, he must be exceptional. We will not unlearn that businesses, media, politics, and other major institutions are inhabited by a majority white because they did it on their own

I'm excited about Obama being president, though I think some of the comments coming out today (well, and previously as well) are...annoying. But that's for another day, when I have time to think of a response and not just fly off the handle.

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I think my dog might be sick?

I don't know - she's farting a lot, and drooling - like...mucously drool that hangs from her mouth. And eating a lot? She had two dinners tonight, and breakfast. She's not vomiting or anything (which is good), but it's night and it's cold, and there's snow so I'm not looking for her poop to check a stool sample. It's just really weird.

I think maybe she ate something outside, but I don't know.

I wish she could talk. :(

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So...new Doctor has been announced. I must admit that I am disappointed - I was rooting for Chiwetel Ejiofor (the Operative in Serenity), and Paterson Joseph (Rodrick in Doctor Who "Parting of Ways" and "Bad Wolf") or Naveen Andrews (Lost), but I knew that wasn't happening. So I'm trying to be not snarky about it, and try to get behind it, but it's going to take a while.

Feeling: disappointed disappointed
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Anyone play Human Age? I'm sciencegeek if you want to add...

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So my new year's plans have fallen through, so now I don't know what I'm doing. Poo.

Article found at [info]debunkingwhite

I was debating posting this, but have decided to because it's a really interesting article. I'm having difficulty finding a quote to post, so I guess you'll have to read it.

Black Kids in White Houses: On Race, Silence, and the Changing American Family

Interesting because in someways I can identify with not being connected to my roots - I'm the third generation on my Mom's side born in Canada, and my knowledge about my cultural heritage is fairly limited - I ask my grandmother all I can, but she was born here, yet is my closest connection to that side of my heritage.

Feeling: thoughtful thoughtful
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I bought new (knee-high) boots this weekend, just for getting around in when there's snow about. But I've found that, uh, I apparently have massive calves for reasons unknown, since I had to try on a lot of pairs of boots until I found ones that fit properly. Which is aggravating since I wanted to buy, like, fashion boots (I wanted to buy a pair of about knee-high leather black stilettos), but now I don't know if that's in the cards, seeing as how apparently they make boots for chicks with skinny legs. And I'm not keen on the synthetic ones that stretch. So...I don't know.

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Finished exams, which is exciting, now all I have to do is wait for the marks to get back. And now I get to do my Christmas shopping...and hopefully buy a new pair of boots.

Last night was fun, but we were all so tired we started crashing early. Still, it was nice to be able to celebrate the end of exams.

and as always with these guys, just tryign to up the view count, clicks are nice but not necessary...

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!

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Ugh. I have to find a way to tell my program co-ordinator, and my supervisor from the summer, that I do not have time, nor the inclination to put together a poster board about my summer project over my Christmas hols, nor in the new year. Yes, I'm only working part-time next week, and could theoretically do it, but I have Christmas shopping to do. And in the new year, I have school and work taking up over 40 hours on their own not including studying, so I have no freaking idea when I'd have the time to do this. And doing the student conference is right out because there's no way I'd have enough time to prepare, go to class and work, and do homework and still do well in any of my classes.

It would be much easier, if the one wasn't my program co-ordinator, who's also teaching me next term.

Also, dragon eggs. Clicks nice, but not necessary, you don't really have to do anything.
Adopt one today! Adopt one today!


Have you ever seen/read something that you're pretty sure is a joke, but you aren't sure, because it's something you actually heard people say. It seems too ridiculous to be true and it must be a joke, but on the other hand, people were actually saying things like that not too long ago, soo....

But I'm pretty sure joke.

Life or something like it

So, I haven't updated in a bit, and figured I ought to, if for no other reason than to make you all feel good that your life is so much more exciting than mine. Winter has arrived here, and with it my skin has dried out and become all itchy and flaky. I usually remember to start moisturizing sooner, but this year, I'm covered in marks from where I scratched and broke blood vessels. Way to go me!

Work has been pretty good, though I had a crap day on Wednesday, where nothing seemed to go right, which was really frustrating, and made the day long. But Thursday was better so, yay! I don't think I'll be able to make it to the Christmas party though - it's during exams, and I don't think it would be a bright idea to give up an evening of studying for partying, despite how much fun it would be :( Next week has Cake Day though, which will be fun - in that yay free food and socializing way.

The term is winding up at school, which means that my stress level is beginning to go up (and probably not helping my skin condition at all), but overall the term has been going well. Kind of hard to believe that I'll be done soon and looking for a job (though the job search will likely be starting around January). I'm hoping to talk to my supervisor about staying - there's the possibility that my job could turn full time after I'm done school, but I want to have an idea about if it's a likely possibility or not. I'd love to stay - I like the people I work around and what I do, which is most of the battle. Even if it's just contract for a couple years, it would be nice - I'm tentatively thinking about going back to school for my Master's in a couple of years, and it would be terribly convenient to be able to work for a couple of years, then hopefully be able to do my Master's in the lab, but right now that's all sort of a very tentative thing...more like a possible road than anything concrete.

Oh! And one of my instructors watches both Torchwood and Supernatural! She just got into them, actually - she didn't watch much TV while finishing her PhD, and says now she's catching up on all the TV she's missed (well, that and video games, a girl after my own heart). So now I have someone I can fangirl with in 'real life'!

I think that's about it on the what's new side of things.

Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today! Adopt one today!

Intersectionality. Look it up, people

Yes, this is in response to something. No, this is not a slam against this person, but rather the comparison.

Anyone that compares the Civil Rights movement of the 60's to the Gay Rights movement of today (beyond the fact that they are both civil rights movements) doesn't own their privilege. I truly believe that - by comparing the two movements, we disregard how these intersect. Believe it or not, there are members of minority groups that are gay.

And another thing - why the Civil Right's movement? Why not the Women's movement? Is it because more people realize that a comparison of those two movements (gay rights and women's rights) is ridiculous?

Feeling: enraged enraged